Toxic Leadership and the Cost of Success: How Women Lose Themselves Climbing the Ladder with Megan Bozzuto

Jennifer Dawn: Hey. Hey everybody. Welcome to a new episode of the Happy Productive Podcast. I'm really excited for my guest today, miss Megan Bto. Megan, welcome to the show. Hi, Jennifer. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. Oh my gosh, you guys. So before the show, Megan and I, Megan's in Boston, I'm in New York, and we were both like, it is so cold, but neither of us.

It's October. We're not turning on our heaters because neither of us are ready to admit that winter is coming. I sound like Game of Thrones. Winter is coming. Um, hopefully not for 10 years. Well, you guys, I know you're gonna love our conversation today. Megan is the. President of IAW, which is the International Association of Women, and she comes to us with such a great diverse background in finance and marketing, and we're gonna dive into some really, really great topics.

Megan, talk to us just a little bit about your journey, your story. How did you get to be where you are today? 

Megan Bozzuto: Yes. So I laughed when I heard you ask this question to somebody else because I'm like, wow, my story could take up a whole 20 minutes. I've had such an interesting career. I started, I graduated from college more than 20 years ago now with an accounting degree and thought, okay, I'm gonna work in accounting.

I love numbers. And started out in an internal audit role where I got to travel all over the world and on the company's dime. And it was, I loved the work, I loved the travel, I loved the experience, but you can't do that forever. So then I ended up in a corporate finance role and suddenly I was like, yeah, no, no, I don't like this at.

All. So left that company. Went to a smaller company, stuck with audit. Then found out I was pregnant with my first child and said, this is gonna be really challenging. My, my husband at the time was an executive. He traveled all the time. He was not available to help with anything related to childcare. And then one day we were out to dinner and a friend of a friend was like, oh, I just started this new job.

I'm gonna need some, I'm gonna need some support. It sounds like you can do what I need. I'm gonna call you. And it ended up being IAW. Mm-hmm. So I ended up coming on board about 10 hours a week doing just marketing services. And quickly I fell in love with the company. Right. How can you not love being in a place where you.

Support women all day long. But the more time, the more I picked up more and more work. So my, my workload increased, which was fine. And then one day I said, can I see the P? Like something's not making sense to me. I'd like to see the p and l and I'd like to dig into some of the finances and. They sent me this stuff and I poked a lot of holes, and then there were some organizational changes and organizational changes, and I just kept taking on more and more until one day I was like, I'm leading this whole thing.

Yeah. Like I never saw myself being the leader of a company. Right. But gradually stepped into this role and have. I still to this day, like the IAW community has provided such a foundation for my own personal and professional success. Yeah. That it's very core to who I am. Yeah. It's very much a part of me and so that, thinking back, I never saw myself leading a women's organization, but 

Jennifer Dawn: yeah, 

Megan Bozzuto: I think about my earlier career and where I could have.

So used in organization like IW who both 'cause I, I've walked the career side, I've walked the business owner side and there's a lack of resource for women who, who want to excel. Yeah. And, and so now I get to build all those resources and bring women together and it's. It's fun. I love what I do. 

Jennifer Dawn: Yeah, absolutely.

And I do think that there, there can be a lack of resources for, okay, I'm gonna say this everybody, some people are gonna take offense and that's okay. I'm okay with it. I've been a member of different women's organizations and some of them are filled with mean girls and they have a lot of ego. They're shaming, they're not nice.

And even the most successful women in some of these organizations are real assholes. I mean, just they're not nice people. And it really turned me off to a lot of these kinds of groups. But I'm a member of IAW. Everybody in the group is absolutely fantastic. And I think that if you are a nice girl and you want a place to be supported and encouraged and network, like IAW is such a great place for that.

Megan Bozzuto: I appreciate hearing that because that is one of the things that is core to what I believe about what we need to be, and it's really at the end of the day, can we just be nice to each other? Right. Right. It's the, I will, I'll show up on calls and have five different career coaches. Yeah. It's not a com.

There's, there's plenty, plenty to go around. We don't have to compete with each other. Let's collaborate, share best practices and help each other. Elevate. Right. It's, it's as simple as that, right? But I think you do get people that show up intimidated and like they, they can't play nice because they're afraid to play nice, right?

And so I, when we see it happening, we pull it aside, right? We address it because in my mind, mean girls aren't welcome here. It's if you're gonna show up with that attitude or that that personality, we're gonna have a conversation about it. Because I don't want people to walk away from a meeting going, Ooh, that felt icky.

Jennifer Dawn: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. We actively fire, mean, mean girls and mean boys. Frankly, we, I won't have 'em on my team. I won't have 'em as clients and life is too short to act like that, but. IAW is all about that, which I think is just so important because why can't we just love each other and get along and be nice?

Megan Bozzuto: Yeah. It's interesting because there's a part of me that's like, okay, to reach that point, do you have to be a little cutthroat? Do you have to be a little, you have to be a little above and beyond, right? Yeah. But I also know. From my perspective, I feel like as I hit certain milestones, I have an obligation to turn around and find other women that I can pull into the same milestones.

Right? Yeah. I get so much fulfillment out of lifting up and seeing other women succeed, and so I, I think I. You can be both, right? You can have the drive and the passion and the commitment, but you also can have the ability to look around the room and say, okay, I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna, I want you to be in this club too, and Right.

Absolutely. And then when you're in that club, shifting the mentality, right, showing up and, and continuing to be the nice girl, even when there's mean girls in the room showing them it's possible. 

Jennifer Dawn: It, it's totally possible. And I think to get to that level, well, I know to get to that level, for me, it's been about.

Really two things. Resilience like resilience. Resilience, resilience. And about my own pers my own professional growth of doing my inner work working on me a hundred percent. And I know that you also talk a lot about this resilience and professional growth and so is there for you, was there like a time in your life where resilience really played a key role in your success 

Megan Bozzuto: there?

Yeah, I think. Throughout my career, there's been a few times. The earliest incident I remember was shortly after I started my career, I was working for a large organization and I walked into a meeting and I was the only woman in the room. I was very young. I had just graduated college, and the guy in charge looked at me and said, what could you possibly tell us about this subject?

And I just remember feeling, oh, right. I. Like talk about mean guys, like he can. And so I had to spend a month doing an audit of his team, and every day he showed up with the. You don't know what you're talking about. You're too young. You have no experience. Little did you know, I did have experience. I had studied the system they were using in college, so I really leaned heavy on that personal development piece of, I do know some of it.

I walked a very fine line of respect while getting my job done, and I remember calling my mom that day and saying, I'm quitting. I can't do this. I cannot, I, I. I can't. Right. I'm in tears. He made me feel like crap and she said, Megan, you're better than this. Just keep showing up. Get through this month. And I got through the month and I, by the end of it, I was enjoying my job again.

So we were okay. And I came back to the same location about two months later, and I ran into the same guy. And he approached me and said, I was so impressed with you, I'd like to offer you a job. Wow. And I thought, wow. That's like, we talk about, I often, we talk about resilience, we talk about these big life events, right?

We talk about the things that, that really push us. And this was more of an act of just personal resilience. Right. It was showing up even though he was making my life difficult as I got older, I think it got. Easy, more experience kind of helps with continuing to show up in those places. Yeah. I've had a number of things happen in my personal life that I've had to continue to show up.

There's days I have to show up for the IAW community on video. Yeah. I often say at one point it was like the floor fell out beneath me. My, yeah, over the last two years I've navigated divorce. I have three young kids, so dealing with all of that, but prior to us separating, my ex-husband had a massive stroke and that really rocked the foundation of our entire family.

And I, for a long time, I showed up in this space of, I remember my office was in the basement, had no windows. I'd go down there, I'd close the door and just pretend as if that like. Nothing was happening. Right? Yeah. And then I remember the first time I shared that I was going through a divorce and the number of people who reached out to me, I.

After that event, through LinkedIn, through Instagram, through anything, and said, I've got you. You can do this. Let me know if you need support. Yeah. And I thought, wow, that's the power of putting yourself out there and sharing some of that. Because I think resilience is not necessarily something we're born with.

I think there are people who have, they're, they're less responsive to things, right? So it's a little easier for them to overcome challenges, but there are skills and tools we can put in place so that when. Life gets lifey or where we encounter the mean girl or we have a big obstacle, we can say, okay, I can do this.

Right. Yeah. It's a lot of it is is in, in, in your head. It's that growth mindset. But also for me, a big part is having a community of people around me that I can say. This really sucks. I need some help. Yeah. 

Jennifer Dawn: Yeah. I think it's so important to be able to do that. I too have been divorced and I remember one of my very best friends when I said, I'm gonna get a divorce, she wouldn't even say the word divorce and like her regular voice, she would whisper it.

She would be like, you're getting a divorce. And she basically ditched me. She. Sided with my husband. What's he gonna do at the time? My husband at the time, what's he gonna do? Who's gonna take care of him? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so I love it though that when you are vulnerable and women supported you and reached out to you.

'cause I think so many times we've been through this, where we've been shamed because of whatever is going on in our lives. And I just love that you were strong enough and confident enough to show up, say, this is what I'm navigating. To be real, to be honest, to be vulnerable. And then as a result, you were supported.

'cause I just, mm-hmm. I don't know, in so much of the rah rah and stuff that goes out there on online today, I think it's just so important to be our real authentic selves, which you were. Yeah. And how beautiful to get that support from the community. 

Megan Bozzuto: Yeah. You know, one of the things that triggered me to start showing up more authentically in the community, we were on a team call, a team call our a call with all of our chapter leaders, and it was in the middle of Covid and we were talking about expectations and basically said, if this is too much right now, we get it.

Right. Yeah. I get that. We're asking, we have asks, we want things to continue to operate. We wanna continue to support our members, but I also know that life just throws some major curve balls and somebody put in the chat. I am, I'm really struggling work. Like I lost my job and my kids are crazy and I have to homeschool and somebody actually spoke up on my behalf and she said.

I don't want you to think that Megan is sitting there without the same challenges. Right. Megan has three kids. Megan has a husband who is not able to help right now because the nature of his stroke, he had gone back to work and work required 110% of him. And so he would go upstairs, he'd close the door and he'd just be head down working all day.

And I had three young kids and. I think light bulbs went off like, oh, she's not just sitting there in that corner of her office with no, there's, her world is not calm and collected. Right? Right. That we all have our things and at the end of the day, it's each person's responsibility to prioritize and accept what you can and cannot do.

And it's okay to say, my life is just not. In a place where I can support this right now, it's okay to walk away. It's okay. I often say I, I talk to a lot of people that volunteer for, to help lead our chapters. Yeah. And they'll have to step down for whatever reason. And I remember one day somebody was like, my business is just crazy and I can't do this anymore.

And I was like, congratulations, I'm still gonna support you. This is not, we're not breaking up. I'm not mad at you. Yeah. I'm gonna celebrate that, that your business has taken off to a point where, yeah. It's too busy, right? That's growth for you. I love that for you. And I think as long as we're being honest with ourselves and honest with others, that it can work.

Jennifer Dawn: When we're welcoming a new client in, or when a client is like, they're good. They don't need us anymore. Wonderful. We love them in, we love them out, and that's what we're here to do. We're doing our job. So I love that you guys embrace that as well. It doesn't have to be gross and icky when people are ready to go to that next level or they have to step down.

So I just, I love that you're doing that. It's also 

Megan Bozzuto: continuing to show up the way that I would wanna be treated. So if I was having to leave because of a personal reason or because life got busy, I don't want somebody to say, well, good ridden is there, there's the door, right? Why? Oh, so. It's that same, like we say this all the time, right?

Treat others the way that we wanna be treated. And so it's really just a matter of I'm a nice person. My, when I think about my personal brand, I want people to know me as a nice person. It doesn't mean I say yes to everything. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna drop everything and do everything for everybody else, but it's really the way I treat people with respect and saying.

We can have hard conversations and still be friends. We can support each other even if we're not in the same room together all the time. Right. 

Jennifer Dawn: Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so important. You said such a great thing about having the therapy, and it doesn't even matter. I went through four years of trauma therapy, a hundred percent.

It changed my life. Things that I didn't even know that I was acting on, and limiting beliefs and fears and things that I'd carried since childhood that I just, you know, was a survivor and I'm pushing through and I'm fine and. All that stuff. But you get to a point in life where you're like, uhoh, I better actually feel this shit because it just keeps coming back.

And the common denominator is me. So I'm a huge fan. And whether, it doesn't even matter whether it's a mentor, it's a coach, it's a therapist, it's all of those. It doesn't even matter. But taking that time, I think, to develop yourself, work on yourself. That's really where you get to that place where you realize, wait, this isn't about me.

This is about them, and I can authentically support them through whatever that journey is. 

Megan Bozzuto: Mm-hmm. And that's been a big piece of me getting comfortable showing up publicly as well, is it's not about me, it's not about. The way I look or what I'm wearing, or even necessarily what I say, right. It's about the impact I'm having on other people.

Yeah. And so I have fallen into this place where I. If my story or my experience can help somebody else not have some of those same challenges, I'm all for it. Right? Yeah. It's so often this doesn't happen as much anymore, but I leave a meeting and say, why didn't I say that? Why? Like, I have all these ideas now.

Right. And I think I lived in a place of self-doubt, low confidence, and yeah. Improving the way I see myself and the way I believe in myself has helped in so many ways. And so doing that work of really honing in on what makes you powerful and unique and special so that you can shine and share that with the world.

Jennifer Dawn: I found that when I stopped pointing the finger of blame at everybody else and started to look at me, that's where the real transformation really happened because. You know, it's so easy to just be like all these things, people, places, all this stuff. This just needs to change so that I feel better.

Mm-hmm. And it's like, no, I actually need to make me feel better. 'cause as we navigate this journey in life and business ownership stuff is gonna happen and it will be completely outside of our control. But the only thing we can control is our reaction, our response, and who we are through it. 

Megan Bozzuto: Absolutely.

Absolutely. I think so often we look to the external things that can be changed that are not our responsibility, but at the end of the day, when you accept responsibility and do everything in your power to just get it done, that's where you're gonna see the magic happen, right? There's no magic wand, there's no easy button, there's no quick fixed result.

If you wanna be successful, you gotta dive in and do the work, and you have to stop. Looking to blame or position others to take responsibility for things that, that you probably can control. And if something's not working because somebody else is not working, yeah, then move along, figure it out anyways, fit for it.

Yep. I love that. I'm gonna write that one down. Is gonna come into our terminology.

Jennifer Dawn: Well, we're almost out of time, Megan, but I really want to give a few minutes of time to tell us about IAW. Tell us about the work that you're doing. If anybody has more questions or wants to know about the organization, just tell us a little bit more about this amazing organization that you lead. 

Megan Bozzuto: Yeah, sure.

So IAW is a women's networking group, right. But I often say it's hard to put into one word what IAW is because it's a community. But there's, so we have members from primarily the us, but we do have some international members as well. We have networking events that happen throughout our local chapters in person, but we also have a massive virtual component where we do events.

The month, but if events aren't your thing, that's okay. We have a resource library where every week we publish new resources that help with all those little things that come up along the way. There's also a. A online community where you can post messages and chat with other members about problems you're having.

One of the things that I love about IAW is often we show up in a place of saying, how can we support you? We make it easy to share your, we call it share your ask, because so often we don't want to share an ask. We don't wanna say, this is hard, or this. Is where I have a problem. Yeah. And so we encourage people to, to dive into those conversations and find a place where you can say, this is what I need today.

Yeah. This is what's gonna help me. And I might not have the answer, I might not have the thing you need, but I'm a pretty good network and I. I love making connections, right? Yeah. And so it's really a community that helps you be your best self and helps to set you up for whatever success is for you in your show opener, you say something to the effect of success is closer than you think.

Mm-hmm. And in I, that resonated with me because I feel like with I a. It's so true. Success is closer than you think, and we're gonna help you take that final step to get to whatever it is you're trying to get 

Jennifer Dawn: to. Very beautiful. Megan, where can people go to find more information about you? IAW? Yep. Where can they find you?

Megan Bozzuto: Yep. So our website is ia women.com, but if you have questions, if you're looking at it like, is this the right fit? Connect with me on LinkedIn. My, my URL is just Mebo, M-A-G-P-O-Z-Z. I'm sure it'll be LinkedIn show notes, but connect with me. Send me a message. Tell me you, you heard me on Jennifer's podcast and.

Either I can give you a call to talk about what membership is. I have a team of people that can call to talk about member what membership is. We have three different levels of me membership tailored to where you are in your journey. And I will tell you, I've seen some organizations that are heavy on the sales pitch, heavy on the join, join, join, join, join.

I wanna be heavy on the is this right fit? How can we support you and make sure that. That you're going to be able to put in the time and the work, because it's just like a gym membership, right? If you sign up for the gym, but then you never walk through the door, guess what? Yeah. You're not getting the benefits.

And so it's similar, right? There's no magic button. You do have to show up in the community. You do have to access the resources, but I can tell you I've seen tremendous success for the women who show up consistently and participate. I'm seeing such amazing things come out of them and, and I love that.

Yeah. That's so beautiful. Yeah. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Send me a message. I can, I will give your listeners a discount. I have a hundred dollars discount code for your listeners as well, so just connect with me and we'll make it happen. 

Jennifer Dawn: Beautiful, and we will put all of Megan's information in the show notes.

Absolutely. Megan, thank you for being here with me today. It's so funny. Well, two years ago if you had said, Jennifer, tell me every question you're gonna ask. I would've been like, I don't know Megan. 'cause guess what? I'm just gonna ask you stuff on the fly, because that's how we do it here. 

Megan Bozzuto: I have learned that the best conversations happen on the fly when we're Yeah.

When we're overly scripted, we are not our authentic selves. Yeah. We, I think if somebody's considering putting themselves out there, it's okay to be a little scripted when you start, right? Yeah. Start with where you're comfortable. Yeah. But trust the process and know that when you show up as your unscripted authentic self, that's where the connection is gonna happen.

That's where people are gonna say, oh, I wanna hear more. I wanna know more about her. 

Jennifer Dawn: So. I agree a hundred percent and what a great tidbit to leave everybody with. Thank you again, Megan, for being here with me today, everybody. I know that there was so many things that we talked about today, but I really wanna encourage you just pick one thing from today's show and just take action on it.

Like do something about it. Whatever it is for you that really resonated with you most, take action because that's where you're gonna actually get the. All right. That's it for today's show. Everybody get out there and have a happy, productive day y'all. Bye.